I don’t know what to do to fill my guilty TV pleasures now that rapper Flavor Flav is no longer allowing fame-crazed women to swoon for his affections on reality TV.

Flavor of Love – yes, that jacked-up, silly and sleazy dating show on VH1 – was one of my favorite shows. Now that everyone else knows this other than my family, all can join in with my sister in teasing the heck out of me. I don’t care. Every person should have a guilty pleasure, including TV shows. And I don’t know why I and other Flavor of Love watchers should get chastised for watching it.

My mom loves the Lifetime Movie Channel on cable. I can’t even watch the promos. I tease her about the channel. If I see another movie about a woman married to a killer, scammer, rapist or porn freak, I don’t know what I’ll do. Sweet and somewhat wholesome Jennifer Love Hewitt is in some new Lifetime movie playing some kind of a sex freak or something. But hey, if mom and other women like that stuff, then I love it for them. Soap operas in general are guilty pleasures. I can’t sit through that stuff, but I’ll watch every episode of Flavor of Love.

Flavor Flav was … I mean is … a nut. But he’s also fun. And his show was just crazy because of the women on there. Yes, the negative portrayal of black people, including women, in certain aspects of the media is a serious issue. But we should all have a sense of humor about ourselves. It might be a fine balance. I can laugh at Richard Pryor or Chris Rock jokes about black people on the one hand, while addressing seriously some of the issues their jokes are based on on the other. There’s got to be some kind of balance or else we’ll all go crazy.

I watch every episode of all three seasons of Flavor of Love. And his ladies – Flavorettes as they’re sometimes called – were tore up from the floor up. Not all of them. Some had sense. But every one of those ladies weren’t feenin’ for Flavor. And I don’t believe that any of them wanted to be with him, even those who may have liked him mainly because of his celebrity. Maybe New York really liked him, but she was crazy before she met him.

Other shows that tried to copy Flavor – For the Love of Ray J (yawn) or Real Chance of Love – couldn’t hang with the real deal. Both seasons of Real Chance of Love were pretty sleazy, though. And one other thing: Why do women fight over ugly men? They shouldn’t fight over any man, unless it’s against some skanky woman or guy who’s trying to cause trouble in your relationship – knock his teeth out and snatch her weave off her head, Flavor of Love-style.

Nope, no more fights over Flavor. No more scheming by the women or stupid games to win dates. No more clocks handed out to surviving ladies during the end-of-the-show elimination ceremony – I’m sorry honey, but your time is up.

Thank goodness for DVDs. I can watch Flavor of Love uncut and uncensored – and satisfy my guilty TV pleasures.

Yeeeeeah boooyeeee!

CONTACT: tdean@wjinc.com