Sung to the tune of the Hokey Pokey:
He puts the Hispanic one in; he took the white one out,
He puts the black one in, just to calm the Laquan McDonald protest shouts.
He does the Hokey Pokey while turning nothing around,
That’s what he’s all about!
Can you name the Hispanic, white and now black police superintendent? No? Don’t worry, you’re not alone. I’ll help you out. John Escalante was the Hispanic interim superintendent who replaced the white fired superintendent Gary McCarthy and the current black interim superintendent is Eddie Johnson. Whew! Our mayor is so sleight-of-hand he has played a three-card Monte con game on us as we watched hypnotized in fascination while trying to keep up with just who is in charge. In the meantime, out in the streets, dead bodies are piling up in record numbers.
Our mayor, who once sent a political opponent a dead fish, was later dubbed by the media as “The Godfather.” I think he truly believed his own hype until he ran into real Chicago thugs who, upon getting their fish, cooked it, and sent him back the bones! No that really didn’t happen, but it’s a metaphor for the reality that Rahm didn’t grow up inside this city. He’s a suburban kid whose rough-and-tough antics out there are considered child’s play here in the city.
Anyway, our new interim police superintendent, Eddie (See? I’m already feeling him on a first name basis), has said, “I’ll be doing a lot of listening because you never know where you’re gonna get that nugget that will help drive this crime down.”
Now if my memory serves me correctly, former superintendent McCarthy held a listening tour last year. If was an “invite only” tour and I’m sure my invitation got lost in the mail. But as I am not into talking to walls, I wasn’t offended. Plus, McCarthy’s tour was “Rock ‘n’ Roll” while Eddie’s is more “R&B.” So now that we have a new person in that role who wants a “nugget” that might help, and he’s not looking for only certain types to give it to him, let me offer my suggestion.
My idea comes with a caveat. If adopted, every homeowner should get a significant reduction on their property tax bill. Nothing inspires a Chicagoan more than saving money. Secondly, my idea also comes with a significant penalty as Chicagoans know how fines in this city quickly double into infinity and beyond. Plus if the “ER Team” (Eddie and Rahm) adopt my idea, it will create jobs, as well as quickly bringing the soaring crime and murder rate to nil, while making sure those criminals whose mayhem has been bringing this city to its knees move elsewhere.
So here goes: Every home in the city should install an exterior, high-quality, digital-camera, security system. Yup … that’s it and it’s that simple. A genuine gold nugget idea.
Here’s how it works: From the moment the little thug leaves his abode to go commit his or her carnage, he or she will be captured on video. We don’t want a grainy system like that R. Kelly tape. We want high-definition recording that will identify the person down to the pimple on their nose. Every homeowner will be responsible for installing and maintaining their system (front of house and street to rear and alley) — no government help to pay the cost, except that once you send your notarized certificate of instillation, your property taxes will lower by, let’s say, 25 percent. We may be able to buy systems in bulk for pennies on the dollar.
As the camera systems turn Chicago into a crime-free city, property values will soar as people seek the safety of our neighborhoods. Now we can focus on our schools and the education of our children. Safe Passage will be a reality as opposed to a lofty goal. Homeowners will be responsible for maintaining and keeping their systems in working order. Fines will be imposed should the police need your recording and your system is on the blink.
So give me a shout-out: Yay or Nay?