Adult Mess-a reality forced upon many children because of the actions of the so-called “adults” in their lives. They become part of situations and actions that they have nothing to do with, nor ask for. This has angered me as I watch the daily news stories where children lose their lives or are placed in danger, because of the poor choices the adults make for their own lives.
Last October, I became enraged when I learned of the death of Julian King, the 7-year-old nephew of Jennifer Hudson. From the interviews where his mother made statements that made me question her own culpability, to the photos she posted on her MySpace page, to the monsters that took Julian from his home, put a gun to his head and pulled the trigger – everything Julian suffered was due to “Adult Mess.”
Or just before Christmas when two children, 9-year-old Carla and 6-year-old Perla Gonzalez, burned to death in the basement of their South Side home while their mom had her butt out somewhere watching her boyfriend play pool. Adult Mess.
Or last week, when in the 600 block of N. Spaulding three young children under the age of 18 months were found living in a basically abandoned building, unheated and lacking water, dressed in just coats. All that they suffered was because of their parents decisions to put them in that situation – Adult Mess.
Or turn on The Maury Show any day of the week, where children are the intended victims of their parent’s stupidity, as the public watches the who’s-your-baby-daddy show. Years from now, every one of those children will be the fodder for jokes as their friends and relatives play the recordings of those shows for the “children’s benefit.”
Adult Mess is not limited to Chicago. In New Orleans, we have the case of Ja’ Shawn Powell whose sin was to be born to a mother who used poor judgment in picking a sperm donor for a father. Rather than pay $4,000 in back child support. The father picked 2-year-old Ja’ Shawn up for the “weekend” and then allegedly slit the 48 pound boy’s throat, letting him bleed to death. Adult Mess.
Or little Caylee Anthony, the focus of numerous cable news shows after she went missing for weeks. Her head was found by a cable repairman who went into the bushes to relieve himself. A baby dead not given the benefit of a decent burial soon after her death because of Adult Mess.
While watching Family Court with Judge Penny the other day, I watched as a man who was the father of two boys ages 12 and 7, that waited until he was 60 years old before he decided to have a sex change. His children’s world was rocked – a family broken up by divorce and the loss of a “dad,” replaced by his new identity, “Aunt Emily.” As their young minds dealt with trauma at all levels, all I could do was watch in bewilderment and think – Adult Mess.
Just this week as I was writing this column, we had another story of a young child, Alex Angulo, 4, who was mauled to death by a Rottweiler. Alex was living in a foster home. His death was caused by a multitude of failures. His birth parents, who created a child that they lost 7 days after he was born, the foster family that kept dangerous dogs which eventually killed him and the Department of Children and Family Services system that put him there – Adult Mess.
We have grown into such a “me-me” society that adults seem oblivious to their roles in raising and caring for children. Raising children is a JOB. It is a JOB that parents undertake when they partake in sex with no regards to birth control. It is a job, an adventure, an obligation and a morale responsibility. It is not a “when I feel like it” situation.